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Thursday, November 02, 2006
"...Thoughts...."
Its been a while since i last pen my thoughts and what matters to me. From a check with the school calender, it will be less than a month to my final exams. And now im burdened with so many projects and assignments. Come to think of it, i still have a 'midterm' exam for my Arts Gem. That one needs preparations and research. sigh.
The problem i had is time. Invaluable as it is, i cant seem to find adequate time to complete my school work, projects, lab, tutorials etc. Since im not joining silat anymore for now, i thought it might help. But im still struggling to get even with the modules' syllabus. Then when i start to worry if i would score better than past semesters, i end up worrying.
Firstly, i feel inferior to the other chemical enginners-wannabe. Im surrounded by people who spends so much time studying, i wonder if they have 30 hrs per day. For most of our midterm tests, there alwaz exist some clever dudes who will score full marks. And the average of tests would always linger around 80%. Recently, i chatted with my lab groupmate, only to find out that he was a top student in his JC. hah! He even tell me that to be in chem engine must get all A for 4 subjects in Jc rite! i was like 'hahahahaha...ya true!"... But truth is, i dont have that kind of results to start with. Then some others tell me they are holding a scholarship bonds and all. I dont even have a scholarship. And i am not a scholar and i also dont have a ship. HAH..
On a serious note, i dont know if im cut out to be part of this circle. Adi was here and he was a top student so naturally he will do well. I regret to not be very diligent in my studies from year 1. So now the pressure is building up so high that i spend 16-18 hours everyday studying. I wont sleep till i know i do something useful. I hope im not overpressurising myself. Should have set a high expectation for myself from the beginning and work on that...
For now, some things have turn a positive outlook for me. No more Arts gem tutorials, im working on my last lab, i have finished my term paper, i have catch up with some modules, and oh ya, NO MORE TUITION this year!! So im left with 2 projects given to me just last week and tons of tutorials to do. Alamak, how to Raya sey.
SO now, i want to LOOK forward to working in my next semester. An escape from this torturous life and look forward to finishing NUS. Whether im ready for the working world, well i dont want to be worried yet...
wrote on 8:30 am.
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